Re: [Adonthell-general] The Marring of the World

[Andrew Michael Phillips]

On Wed, 24 Jul 2002, Kai Sterker wrote:

> On Tue, 23 Jul 2002 20:20:46 -0500 (CDT) Andrew Michael Phillips wrote:
> 
> > I've written something to go with my human creation myth piece
> > 
> > http://endor.hsutx.edu/~cptlogic/adonthell/marring.html
> 
> Hm. It's certainly not bad, but I think it's lacking something. It only
> list what Venag Danir does, but it hasn't got a real climax. Here a few
> random thoughts I had for addition:
> 
> I could for example imagine that first of all he throws rocks at the
> world or tries to coat it in ice, until the other Mighty Ones drive him
> away. Then he reverts to more subtle methods as you describe.
> 
> Those could be explained in more detail then. For example, the anonymous
> servants that made trolls and goblins could be elvish lords that became
> his followers. They could have reigned in terror until overthrown by an
> alliance of the free people. Because of all the cruelties committed by
> those Dark Elves, the remaining ones devoted their lives to peace and
> many years passed before they touched a weapon again.
> 
> Even in their victory, Venag Danir planted hatred and distrust into the
> allies, so that the different races became estranged to each other.
> 
> Venag Danir himself was finally banished or imprisoned, but still tries
> to touch the world. During winter (which had not existed before) his
> grasp at the world is the strongest.
>
> It's your choice what you make of it; I just think it should be a bit
> more than a list of Venag Danir's deeds.

You're right. It could be better, and your ideas would make it better. 
It's rather...abrupt now. Thanks. I'll fix it this weekend.

Andrew

-- 
All that is gold does not glitter,
  Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither,
  Deep roots are not reached by the frost.
>From the ashes a fire shall be woken,
  A light from the shadows shall spring;
Renewed shall be blade that was broken,
  The crownless again shall be king