He choked me and hit me. Without one or the other component, any treatment you decide on would likely have less of an impact. God has walked me through those issues and I continue to rely on him for guidance. This is fairly common even for adult children as divorce has far reaching consequences for many family members. I feel that maybe he will never change or that maybe I need to change. Some deeper digging is needed Anonymous, and I hope that you are able to commit to the process.
It can be very frustrating trying to coax someone into getting help if he believes he doesn't need it.
He has to come to his own decisions about that. Or, it may include the need to not overly focus on aspects of what has happened in one's childhood that has caused emotional, mental and even physical scarring that a parent may be responsible for. If you can't afford individual therapy for your husband, at a minimum I encourage you to seek out support for both of you where you can. This isn't the first time we have had this problem.
I'm sure it's of interest to many readers.
He has to come to his own decisions about that. Organizations like churches, hospitals, community centers and recovery groups sometimes offer free support groups or individual counseling based on a sliding scale fee. I wish you all the best for a peaceful outcome Mike, and for your family to truly heal from the pain of family discord and divorce.
I have a mom who is very critically abusive to me and one Christian brother told me that I have to put up with her put-downs because God commanded me to honor her. We took a first-hand look in New York City. He also is not going to get that help as long as he doesn't see the need for it and is in denial about his problem. And, while it's true that God desires for us to honor our parents he does not state or demand that we need to endure further abuse at their hands in doing so.
She has said or done nothing wrong to him. He is a believer as I am.
You're the only one who can act on your behalf there.
But if love is good for all of our souls, then giving grace to others includes learning to include our parents on some level as well. My husband does not want to go and has never said anything about his feelings to me let alone to a therapist.
The reality is that it likely has been a very hard thing for your son to accept and deal with.
Often I feel like I have no one to talk or I am embarrassed to talk.
I understand that my father's disease may have an effect on my sensitivity, but it hurts more every time we have an episode.
You could also work on ways you can incorporate some type of group component or other viable alternative into your treatment so you can get the best of what that offers too. If I can be of any further help please contact me again.
I believe God can heal my marriage and that I am not in any harm. I also agree that medicating your depression by itself is not the answer.
What you can do is nudge him along and let him know that it's a very serious issue to you and it sounds like you have.
In fact, I am surprised that he had allowed you access to them before. I want to still see him, and I do see him for lunch and a movie occasionally. I did so in order to not have to keep this secret to my self. The problem is him and his actions.
Online counseling can work well for the individual component of the therapy. It may be helpful for you to learn to have a suitable relationship with your mother based on healthy, loving boundaries.
It's going to depend on how much he values your marriage and is willing to change.