Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning. No dictator, no invader, can hold an imprisoned population by force of arms forever. There is no greater power in the universe than the need for freedom. Against that power, governments and tyrants and armies cannot stand. Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work. Who would give a law to lovers? Love is unto itself a higher law. Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning. When you're in love you never really know whether your elation comes from the qualities of the one you love, or if it attributes them to her; whether the light which surrounds her like a halo comes from you, from her, or from the meeting of your sparks. Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time. If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose. Compassion alone stands apart from the continuous traffic between good and evil proceeding within us. True friendship comes when the silence between two people is comfortable. Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work. Love takes off masks that we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within. Always listen to experts. They'll tell you what can't be done, and why. Then do it. Your living is determined not so much by what life brings to you as by the attitude you bring to life; not so much by what happens to you as by the way your mind looks at what happens. The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind. Iron rusts from disuse; stagnant water loses its purity and in cold weather becomes frozen; even so does inaction sap the vigor of the mind. A book may lie dormant for fifty years or for two thousand years in a forgotten corner of a library, only to reveal, upon being opened, the marvels or the abysses that it contains, or the line that seems to have been written for me alone In this respect the writer is not different from any other human being: whatever we say or do can have far-reaching consequences. The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind. Always listen to experts. They'll tell you what can't be done, and why. Then do it. The game of life is not so much in holding a good hand as playing a poor hand well. The quality of the moment is more important than the number of our days. When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all get drunk and go to heaven! Reduce the complexity of life by eliminating the needless wants of life, and the labors of life reduce themselves. The problem with some people is that when they aren't drunk, they're sober. Autumn is the time when seasons merge because of bare necessity. Love is the energy of the soul. Love is what heals the personality. There is nothing that cannot be healed by love. There is nothing but love. Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time. Those who are willing to sacrifice essential liberties for a little order, will lose both and deserve neither. When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. Love is the energy of the soul. Love is what heals the personality. There is nothing that cannot be healed by love. There is nothing but love. Take away love and our earth is a tomb. Nothing splendid has ever been achieved except by those who dared believe that something inside them was superior to circumstances. Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza. I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them. A kiss makes the heart young again and wipes out the years. The best proof of love is trust. Touch is the most fundamental sense. A baby experiences it, all over, before he is born and long after he learns to use sight, hearing, or taste, and no human ever ceases to need it. Keep your children short on pocket money - but long on hugs. Compassion alone stands apart from the continuous traffic between good and evil proceeding within us. Iron rusts from disuse; stagnant water loses its purity and in cold weather becomes frozen; even so does inaction sap the vigor of the mind. Who would give a law to lovers? Love is unto itself a higher law. The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind. Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say, abstains from giving us wordy evidence of the fact. Love is the immortal flow of energy that nourishes, extends and preserves. Its eternal goal is life. The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind. Of cheerfulness, or a good temper - the more it is spent, the more of it remains. The only time you run out of chances is when you stop taking them. Books are the shoes with which we tread the footsteps of great minds. I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a ... brain operation. Very little is needed to make a happy life. It is all within yourself, in your way of thinking. You can't wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club. Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life, so get wasted all of the time and have the time of your life. Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me. Nothing splendid has ever been achieved except by those who dared believe that something inside them was superior to circumstances. Touch is the most fundamental sense. A baby experiences it, all over, before he is born and long after he learns to use sight, hearing, or taste, and no human ever ceases to need it. Keep your children short on pocket money - but long on hugs. The great thing about a computer notebook is that no matter how much you stuff into it, it doesn't get bigger or heavier. When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. No elected body is the country, we are the country. You and me. Us. It can only stay that way as long as we care to keep it so. What the world really needs is more love and less paper work. When love is not madness, it is not love. It's not that chocolates are a substitute for love. Love is a substitute for chocolate. Chocolate is, let's face it, far more reliable than a man. If you find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn't lead anywhere. I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. Take away love and our earth is a tomb. The game of life is not so much in holding a good hand as playing a poor hand well. When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. Those who are willing to sacrifice essential liberties for a little order, will lose both and deserve neither. Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. 24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? The Eskimo has fifty-two names for snow because it is important to them; there ought to be as many for love. When love is not madness, it is not love. You can't wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club. True friendship comes when the silence between two people is comfortable. Try not to become a man of success but rather to become a man of value. All right, Brain, I don't like you and you don't like me -- so let's just do this and I'll get back to killing you with beer. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines. No elected body is the country, we are the country. You and me. Us. It can only stay that way as long as we care to keep it so. Always listen to experts. They'll tell you what can't be done, and why. Then do it. It's not that chocolates are a substitute for love. Love is a substitute for chocolate. Chocolate is, let's face it, far more reliable than a man. I discovered I always have choices and sometimes it's only a choice of attitude. Everything in excess! To enjoy the flavor of life, take big bites. Moderation is for monks. The man who says I told you so is making an excuse for not expressing his position clearly in the first place. Love does not begin and end the way we seem to think it does. Love is a battle, love is a war; love is a growing up. A positive attitude will not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort. Why is it drug addicts and computer afficionados are both called users?