Re: [Enigma-devel] New levelstrings in 1.01

[Jen]

Jacob, you beat me to it.  I was going to make exactly the same suggestions 
that you did.

Raoul et. al. - as another native English speaker, I wholeheartedly agree 
with Jacob's suggestions.

(And Raoul - I'm working on the images you and Ronald wrote to me about. 
More very soon, hopefully.)

Jen
=========================================
Jen Robertson
California
address@hidden
=========================================
Go outside.  The graphics are incredible!



----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Jacob Scott" <address@hidden>
To: "Raoul" <address@hidden>
Cc: <address@hidden>
Sent: Saturday, April 28, 2007 10:06 AM
Subject: Re: [Enigma-devel] New levelstrings in 1.01


Hi,

I can't read German, but I went through the English translations and
had a few comments.  Most of them are about capitalization of titles
-- I just tried to suggest the format that fits best with the current
levels.

> Title    : "Walk the line"
> Subtitle : "revisited"

Perhaps "line" and "revisited" should be capitalized?


> --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> Title    : "jumping ball flash"
>
> English  : "illmind's jumping ball flash ..."
> English  : "... of heaven comes the beast from the ..."
> English  : "... t r a p p e d ..."

Same for the title here, unless it's a stylistic choice.




> --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> Title    : "Check the light"
> Subtitle : "how to play chess with lasers"

Capitalize "light" and "how"?


> English  : ""
> Transl.  : "Ob Schachfiguren laserresistent sind?"

This should probably have an English version....



> English  : "Sorry, this switch is momentarily out of order."
> Transl.  : "Dieser Schalter ist momentan leider außer Betrieb."
> English  : "As i already told you, this switch is out of order!"

"i" should be capitalized.

> Transl.  : "Ich habe Dir doch bereits mitgeteilt, dass dieser Schalter
> nicht funktioniert!"
> English  : "How often do you want to try again?"
> Transl.  : "Wie oft willst Du es denn noch versuchen?"
> English  : "Was there a reaction? I'm not sure ..."
> Transl.  : "Tat sich da was? Ich bin nicht sicher ..."
> English  : "Congrates, now it works again!"

"Congrates" should either lose the 'e' or become "Congratulations"
(more formal).

> Transl.  : "Glückwunsch, jetzt funktioniert er wieder!"
> English  : "No hints available at the moment."
> Transl.  : "Zur Zeit sind keine Tips verfügbar."
> English  : "There is a passage right beneath this stone!"
> Transl.  : "Es gibt einen Durchgang direkt unter diesem Stein!"

This isn't necessary, but to make the English version sound more
fluent (it's a bit awkward now), one could use:

> English  : "Sorry, this switch is currently out of order."
> English  : "As I already told you, this switch is out of order!"
> English  : "How often are you going to try this?"
> English  : "Did anything happen? I'm not sure ..."
> English  : "Congrats, now it works again!"  [or "Congrats" can be 
> "Congratulations"]
> English  : "No hints available at the moment."
> English  : "There is a passage right beneath this stone!"


Again, I'm not sure if the titles are supposed to be capitalized or
not (e.g. "Your Friend, the Light" instead of "Your friend, the
light").  The next few aren't.

> --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> Title    : "Magic triangle"
>
>
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> Title    : "Devil's bolder"
>
>
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> Title    : "Your friend, the light"
>
>
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> Title    : "The wrong place?"



> --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> Title    : "Polar Bears Paradise"
> Subtitle : "Witch Hunt on Ice"

This should probably be "Polar Bears' Paradise", assuming apostrophes
are allowed.


Possible capitalization:

> --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> Title    : "Same task ..."
> Subtitle : "... different mirrors"
>
>
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
> Title    : "Industrial puzzles"



> Title    : "Counterclockwise"

Hmm... we already have a level titled "(Counter)Clockwise"....


These are just my suggestions -- others may have different opinions --
but I hope they help.


Otherwise, everything looks great, and I'm eager to play these levels
in the upcoming release!

Greets, Jacob


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