So consider and pray, and ask God for the solution that is right for both of you!
This may take years though. This isn't the first time we have had this problem. What you can do is nudge him along and let him know that it's a very serious issue to you and it sounds like you have. At what point does it stop? I have been looking to go to counselors, but cannot find one that will meet our needs. You're the only one who can act on your behalf there. Online counseling is also more affordable than traditional therapies and may be an option to consider.
My husband does not want to go and has never said anything about his feelings to me let alone to a therapist. They prayed with me and continually are doing so.
There should be no negotiating with yourself on that. Many people don't seek help due to deep feelings of shame, guilt and fear, though keeping oneself isolated isn't the answer because historically domestic violence escalates over time if untreated.
He is a believer as I am. The dilemma I'm facing is my husband apologized and repented.
About five months ago my husband of five years got drunk. He is a humble person, but I feel a wall now between us so thick I have no clue how to tear it down. Without one or the other component, any treatment you decide on would likely have less of an impact. I hope that your stance proves to be fruitful for the good of your family! Learning about healthy, appropriate personal boundaries in family relationships provides a way for everyone in the family to be honored and respected, not just your mother. If he isn't willing to make such necessary changes you both would be wise to seriously reconsider the marriage issue.
To some people honoring their mother may mean a need to acknowledge her positive gifts of motherhood in ways that don't allow for further abuse.
You can't do anything about his behaviors, but you can learn to set boundaries and limits as to what you will and will not accept in your relationship. But who is truly 'deserving' of anything? I wonder if other Christian couples have gone through this.