some great country tunes (fwd)

[Ginger Booth]

And I'm a little bit rock n roll. . . 
Praise be to Jesus!

The Best of the Worst Country-Western Song Titles (These are *real*)
Compiled By: Bill Atchley (address@hidden)


      Do You Love As Good As You Look

      Drop Kick Me, Jesus, Through The Goalposts Of Life

      Get Your Biscuits In The Oven And Your Buns In The Bed

      Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth 'Cause I'm Kissing You Goodbye

      Her Body Couldn't Keep You Off My Mind

      Her Cheatin' Heart Made A Drunken Fool Out Of Me

      Her Teeth Was Stained, But Her Heart Was Pure

      Here's A Quarter, Call Someone Who Cares

      How Can A Whiskey That's 6 Years Old Whup A Man That's 33?

      How Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away?

      How Can You Believe Me When I Say I Love You When
         You Know I've Been A Liar All My Life?

      I Can't Get Over You, So Why Don't You Get Under Me?

      I Changed Her Oil, She Changed My Life

      I Don't Know Whether To Come Home Or Go Crazy

      I Don't Know Whether To Kill Myself Or Go Bowling

      I Don't Want Your Body If Your Heart's Not In It

      I Fell In A Pile Of You And Got Love All Over Me

      I Flushed You From The Toilets Of My Heart.

      I Got In At 2 With A 10 And Woke Up At 10 With A 2

      I Just Bought A Car From The Guy That Stole My Girl,
         But The Car Don't Run So I Figure We Got An Even Deal

      I Keep Forgettin' I Forgot About You

      I Knew I'd Hit Rock Bottom When I Woke Up On Top Of Ewe

      I Liked You Better Before I Knew You So Well

      I May Be Used (But Baby I Ain't Used Up)

      I Meant Every Word That He Said

      I Still Miss You, Baby, But My Aim's Gettin' Better

      I Would Have Wrote You A Letter, But I Couldn't Spell Yuck!

      I Wouldn't Take Her To A Dawg Fight, Cause I'm Afraid She'd Win

      I'd Rather Have A Bottle In Front Of Me Than A Frontal Lobotomy

      I'll Get Over You As Soon As You Get Out From Under Him

      I'll Marry You Tomorrow But Let's Honeymoon Tonite

      I'm Gettin' Gray From Being Blue

      I'm Havin' Daydreams About Night Things In The Middle Of The
         Afternoon

      I'm Just A Bug On The Windshield Of Life

      I'm Not Married But The Wife Is

      I'm So Miserable Without You, It's Like Having You Here

      I'm The Only Hell Mama Ever Raised

      I've Got Four On The Floor And A Fifth Under The Seat

      I've Got Red Eyes From Your White Lies And I'm Blue All The Time

      I've Got The Hungries For Your Love And I'm
         Waiting In Your Welfare Line

      If I Can't Be Number One In Your Life, Then Number Two On You

      If I Had Shot You When I Wanted To, I'd Be Out By Now

      If I Said You Had A Beautiful Body, Would You Hold It Against Me?

      If It's Got To Be Later, How 'Bout Later Tonight?

      If Love Were Oil, I'd Be A Quart Low

      If The Phone Don't Ring, Baby, You'll Know It's Me

      If Whiskey Were A Woman I'd Be Married For Sure

      If You Can't Feel It (It Ain't There)

      If You Don't Leave Me Alone, I'll Go And Find Someone Else Who Will

      If You Leave Me, Can I Come Too?

      It Ain't Love But It Ain't Bad

      It Takes Me All Night Long To Do What I Used To Do All Night Long

      Learning To Live Again Without You Is Killing Me

      My John Deere Was Breaking Your Field,
         While Your Dear John Was Breaking My Heart

      My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend, And I Sure Do Miss Him

      Oh, Lord! It's Hard To Be Humble When You're Perfect In Every Way

      Out Of My Head And Back In My Bed

      She Feels Like A New Man Tonight

      She Got The Gold Mine And I Got The Shaft

      She Got The Ring And I Got The Finger

      She Made Toothpicks Out Of The Timber Of My Heart

      She's Out Doing What I'm Here Doing Without.

      Tennis Must Be Your Racket 'Cause Love Means Nothin' To You

      Thank God And Greyhound She's Gone

      The Last Word In Lonesome Is "me"

      They May Put Me In Prison, But They Can't Stop My Face From
        Breakin' Out

      Touch Me With More Than Your Hands

      Velcro Arms, Teflon Heart

      What Made Milwaukee Famous (Has Made a Loser Out of Me)

      When We Get Back To the Farm (That's When We Really Go To Town)

      Who You Gonna Believe, Me Or Your Lying Eyes?

      You Can't Deal Me All The Aces And Expect Me Not To Play

      You Were Only A Splinter As I Slid Down The Bannister Of Life

      You're A Cross I Can't Bear

      You're Ruining My Bad Reputation

      You're The Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly
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--
            Ginger Booth, Center for Computational Ecology
                Yale Institute for Biospheric Studies