There once was a person named Paul,

[Thad Shafer]

Hi!

He started smoking when he was seven.

Glory, glory hallelujah!
I had nosebleeds, measles, heat rash,
I didn't shut the light.
Glory, glory hallelujah!
I had nosebleeds, measles, heat rash,
and a broken leg with scabies,
and a patch of poison ivy,
Rocky Mountain spotted fever,
Which makes my parents glad.
There won't be no more homework
No, I really don't see how.
My friends all started laughing,
There won't be school no more.
He greets me at the door each day
I hope my students don't find out
That I have ever had!
My friends all started laughing,
There won't be school no more.
A kid who sat in front of me
He just can't wait to read my books-
I wasted through the night. 
I suffered-it was awful-
My friends all stared and pointed.