Re: Web: Download: Add introductory text (issue 40510046)

[pkx166h]

Overall this is a bit too chatty for my liking. I have tried to give
some constructive suggestions but please make sure that you follow the
doc guidelines and use the appropriate Texinfo commands (as applicable).

It fails make at the moment (I will see why from my patchy and update
the Tracker accordingly)


https://codereview.appspot.com/40510046/diff/20001/Documentation/web/download.itexi
File Documentation/web/download.itexi (right):

https://codereview.appspot.com/40510046/diff/20001/Documentation/web/download.itexi#newcode38
Documentation/web/download.itexi:38:
Is this whole section conforming to the correct line length - 72 (or 66)
chars? At least here in Rietveld it looks sloppy with weird line breaks.
Maybe this is just the way it is displayed here but can we make sure
please.

https://codereview.appspot.com/40510046/diff/20001/Documentation/web/download.itexi#newcode40
Documentation/web/download.itexi:40: @subheading Before you proceed ...
I don't like those elipses and they aren't really needed (or being used
correctly, they are for missing words and anyway there is a texinfo
command for 'dots'.) can we just have 'Before you proceed' and be done?

https://codereview.appspot.com/40510046/diff/20001/Documentation/web/download.itexi#newcode42
Documentation/web/download.itexi:42: ... you should be aware of some
facts and concepts.
Remove this '... you should be aware of ...' line. Subheading is enough.

https://codereview.appspot.com/40510046/diff/20001/Documentation/web/download.itexi#newcode50
Documentation/web/download.itexi:50: If you want you can go to @ref{Text
input} and learn more about LilyPond's
What happens if they 'don't want?' Remove the 'If you want you can go
to'

Just keep it simple. I.e 'See @ref{Text input} to learn more.'

https://codereview.appspot.com/40510046/diff/20001/Documentation/web/download.itexi#newcode53
Documentation/web/download.itexi:53: @subsubheading I'm new to LilyPond
and don't have a dedicated editor yet
I personally don't like these 'first person' question-type headings, but
if we have to have them can we just remove the 'I'm new to LilyPond' and
get to the point.

Something like 'Which dedicated LilyPond Editor' or similar.

https://codereview.appspot.com/40510046/diff/20001/Documentation/web/download.itexi#newcode55
Documentation/web/download.itexi:55: If you don't already have an
editing environment for LilyPond you should
You had already subheaded this section as '[I] ... don't have a
dedicated editor...' so these first words are redundant. Just skip to
the point.

"See @ref{Editing} to find a list of LilyPond editors. Frescobaldi or
Denemo are recommended for beginners."

https://codereview.appspot.com/40510046/diff/20001/Documentation/web/download.itexi#newcode57
Documentation/web/download.itexi:57: concept you'll find a list of known
editors. Beginners are
Two spaces after a full point.

https://codereview.appspot.com/40510046/diff/20001/Documentation/web/download.itexi#newcode59
Documentation/web/download.itexi:59: @strong{Denemo}. Both can take care
of installing LilyPond for you.
Two spaces after a full point

https://codereview.appspot.com/40510046/diff/20001/Documentation/web/download.itexi#newcode64
Documentation/web/download.itexi:64: to install a new LilyPond version
you can proceed as described below.
Is this section even needed?

https://codereview.appspot.com/40510046/