[DotGNU]Re: second draft for FD press release about DotGNU

[Jon Babcock]

My kneejerk reaction on first reading is as follows:


Norbert Bollow wrote:

> PRELIMINARY VERSION - NOT AUTHORIZED FOR RELEASE
> (The above line will eventually be changed to "FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE")
>
>
> FREE SOFTWARE DEVELOPERS FROM AROUND THE WORLD MOBILIZE 
> TO PREVENT EXTENSION OF MICROSOFT'S MONOPOLY TO THE INTERNET.
> DOTGNU TO FACE DOWN .NET




DOTGNU TO FACE DOWN .NET

 Should be the opening line.

DOTGNU is weaker than .NET. Why not .GNU which is equally as strong?

> Washington DC, USA - July 11, 2001 - FreeDevelopers announced today
> the DotGNU project, a Free Software alternative to Microsoft's .NET
> initiative, which has been adopted into the GNU project by the Free
> Software Foundation.


Two sentences may be clearer, e.g,:

FreeDevelopers announced today the DotGNU project, a Free 
Software alternative to Microsoft's .NET.  DotGNU will be part 
of the Free Software Foundation's GNU project.

"... will be part of ..." could also be " is part of " or " will 
be/is/has been adopted by", "has the full support of", etc.

Must stop here now. More later.


Jon


--
Jon Babcock <address@hidden>