[Fsfe-uk] m wrote:

[MJ Ray]

> http://beerandspeech.org/fsfe/bbc-ms-deal/

Comment on second draft, perhaps too late:

I think this paragraph:
Technically the content that Microsoft will deliver
will not be "digital content anytime, anywhere and on
any device" as Bill Gates claims [0]. I would love
that this were true.

is ambiguous and I suggest:
Experience suggests that the content that Microsoft will deliver
technically will not be "digital content anytime, anywhere and on
any device" as Bill Gates claims [0]. I would love that the quote
were true, but it is unlikely to happen if Microsoft's notorious
embrace-and-extend capture is allowed into a BBC partnership.

Small ytpos:

applications that have been licenced by Microsoft for
                            ^^^^^^^^ verb is "licensed"

system you unable to access content on the website.
         ^^^ missing "will be"?

controlled by a foriegn mega-corporation.
                   ^^ ei                ^^ ? to end question


I'd also suggest trying to work in some allusion to the public
value tests and that Microsoft does not work for public value,
but I can't seem to phrase it myself just now.

Hope that helps,
-- 
MJ Ray - see/vidu http://mjr.towers.org.uk/email.html
Somerset, England. Work/Laborejo: http://www.ttllp.co.uk/
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