Re: [Fsuk-manchester] Mission statement - request for comments

[Lucy]

On 20/06/2008, Tim Dobson <address@hidden> wrote:
> MJ Ray wrote:
> > The "but also..." phrase seems a little stilted to me but I can't
> > quite identify the reason.  I also dislike passive expressions and
> > long sentences.  I suggest rewording to:-
> >
> > Manchester Free Software serves a growing apparent need for a group
> > based in the Manchester area that focuses primarily on free software
> > and GNU/Linux.  It also covers topics which impact on the freedoms of
> > computer users, such as Digital Restrictions Management.
> >
>
>  I would prefer switching "but also..." to "and also..."

I'd prefer to keep it as ". It also", otherwise it's one very long sentence..