[Pan-users] Re: Purging headers

[Duncan]

Joe Zeff <address@hidden> posted
address@hidden, excerpted below, on  Fri, 05 Dec 2008 13:24:58
-0800:

>>> [Joe Zeff != Jeff]

> On 12/05/2008 CSV4ME2 wrote:
>> I did answer your question,
> 
> And I'm not saying that you didn't.  However, I fail to understand how
> you could be looking at my name and misspell it that way.  At the age of
> 59, I can, quite literally, say that I've found that type of thing
> offensive for over half a century, having gotten tired of it at about
> six or seven.  I've also learned that the only way to prevent it
> happening again is to make it *very* *clear* the first time that it is
> unacceptable.

I don't know... I think I'd /choose/ to find it amusing.  This isn't to 
denigrate your bone, which is a legitimate one if you wish to make it so, 
but at age 42 (not quite up with you, but not a young'un any more, 
either), I've discovered that it's much easier to adjust my own attitude 
and actions than that of another, and often, if I don't seem to care so 
much, it's not a big deal and pretty soon people forget about it 
(sometimes by coming up with a new name =:^s) .

Actually, my first name is John, but there were always so many and all 
you here is the ON bit, so it gets mixed up with Donna and the like too.  
So I started going with the more unique Duncan, first offline (when I 
worked with a Donna, see above), then on, when I name-clashed somewhere 
with another John Duncan -- but remarkably I've never name-clashed on or 
offline with an active single name "Duncan".

So people call me John I just ignore it, because generally they're 
talking to/about someone else.  If asked, I explain it this way, the 
double entendre helping to get the point across: "There's always too many 
Johns around... unless you need one!  So I just go by Duncan and avoid 
the confusion."

Then that gets turned into Dunkey, which quickly becomes Donkey!  Or they 
call me "Gordo" (Spanish for fat man) due to my size, or Barney (the 
purple one) again due to both that and my easy going nature, or Pelone, 
Spanish again, due to my often shaved head (and yes, I'm aware of the 
urban dictionary meaning too).  Whatever.  I choose not let it bother me, 
and because it doesn't, it's no big deal.  Even John doesn't bother me, 
tho I'll often ignore it, either because I honestly think they're 
referring to someone else or if I have something else I'm doing, because 
I can pretend I think they're referring to someone else, since I don't 
identify with the name any longer (with the exception of when my folk say 
it, of course).  I'm sure if I let any of those or some other name bother 
me, I'd immediately be branded and stuck with it for life, but honestly, 
there's way more important things to worry about, so I just don't let it 
bother me and it just doesn't bother me.

Of course as I said you have a legit complaint if you want to make a big 
deal of it, but <shrug>, /why/?  Surely you know that by doing so you're 
immediately branding yourself as that in some peoples minds?  Or is that 
the intention?  Maybe you actually like it?  In any case, aren't there 
much more important things to worry about?

-- 
Duncan - List replies preferred.   No HTML msgs.
"Every nonfree program has a lord, a master --
and if you use the program, he is your master."  Richard Stallman